SO… eNVy and I have decided that there should be some sort of easy list to find the things that *most* people who are new to the Kink / BDSM / Swinger / Sex-Positive lifestyles should have, or at least know about. It will include a few books, a few toys, and generally the basics as far as what we think you should be aware of while you figure out what it is that trips your trigger. 🙂

And while we have a great page dedicated to Our Affiliates where you can find all these things, and more – most everyone (us included) start their shopping on Amazon. So we figured we would offer you the links to the stuff that we purchased first – and liked, in an effort to save you the headache of searching through all the options in your search results to find “the right one.”

First and Foremost: Do Your Research! These books are the ones Mr. NVT found the most helpful, for both him and his eNVy, when it comes to all things Kink and discovering what the whole D/s dynamic looks like.

The first one, Come Hither, is by far his favorite go-to book when introducing someone to the Kink / BDSM lifestyles.

I don’t care who you are, having some lube handy is essential:

When it comes to learning how to tie rope, and offering some insight as to the WHY’s of tying, among Mr. NVT’s favorites are:

Once you have the basics down and are comfortable in the how’s and why’s we tie… his ABSOLUTE favorite, (and the one that stays in the rope bag) is:

As far as rope, if you wanted to avoid going to Hemp Traders to load up on the correct lengths, and just find a good starter bundle of natural hemp, Mr. NVT has a few of these in his bag (but they – need -treated / washed / broken in a bit before using them):

But these will do just as nicely:

If you’re learning shibari, you should – ALWAYS – have at least one pair (if not, a few pairs) of these:

What to do, once you have your submissive all tied up?  These products would be helpful and are always in Mr. NVT’s rope bag:

Of course, if you’re looking for vibrators, other than the “top of the line” models offered on Nomi Tang,  We-Vibe, or WowVibe, both of the ones below are in our toybox and always do the job a pinch:

eNVY just LOVES these, even though she didn’t think she would:

Finally, here are a few other odd and ends that round out our personal “should have handy, just in case.”

If you’re just getting into anal play…

and having these handy if you’re a little squeamish…

One of these never hurts:

Don’t want to dive into learning all the knots and responsibilities of rope before finding out if your partner is into it? Try this as a baby step into bondage:

Quietly playing in public has never been so discreetly naughty with this:


Finally, an adult-themed party game is always fun to break out if the situation arises.  Ours was a gift.

And finally some discreet collars for day wear…